im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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