That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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