I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
