Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
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mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
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I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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