week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
