yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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