I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
