Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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