i permit you to call me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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