your room smells of hookers.
And success
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
