Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
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Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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