Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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