Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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