i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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