i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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