Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
