My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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