K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
