No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
