just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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