dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
