normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
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either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
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I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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