My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
