I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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