He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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