Soap is not a condiment
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize