After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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