you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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