i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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