My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Best friends brother. Beat that.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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