wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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