and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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