Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
