In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
