the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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