Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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