The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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