dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
