It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
