I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
