me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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