i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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