genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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