so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's official drugs can't kill me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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