$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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