Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
