You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
