I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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