Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
