dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
