I just pynch a tree in the face
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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