Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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