Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
