i think i have two assholes
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
