So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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