Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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