You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
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I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
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I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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