i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
