honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
